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English: Dry lawn after winter in Pori.

Your grass better not be greener than mine is or I’ll…

Turn you in.

Drop a dime on you.

Call the cops.

Yep – if your grass is greener than mine, you’re toast, sister!

OK – we’re officially in a drought: the worst drought in the area in over 25 years.  The hottest June in 100 years!

The mayor of my city, and a lot of other mayors in a lot of other Heartland cities, have declared that watering your grass, is now punishable by fines from $100 to $2500, depending on how many times you’re ticketed.

You allowed to use a watering can or hand-held hose with a shutoff nozzle, on trees under five years old and on your vegetable and flower gardens, but sprinkling, watering, or irrigating grass, is a no-no for homeowners.

I wholeheartedly agree ~ but my right/left collective brain thinks; What if the bank owns the house?

They’re even promoting a phone number for turning in your green-grassed neighbors.

Then they warn you not to call 911 ~ watering your grass is not an emergency; however, they will respond to your call and send out an inspector.

Oh no, a GWI /Grass-Watering Inspector ????   Who is getting that new job ?  A new task added to an old job ?  With more money ?  Or, no – just more tasks added to an already over burdened city worker’s job?  Ugh.

Whoa Nellie – neighbors are ratting each other out faster than corn or green grass goes through a goose, (sorry – for corn & green), like there’s no tomorrow ~ a  tomorrow without rain, and none seen in the near future, either.

So, are the neighbor’s jealous ?  If my grass is brown and crunchy, their grass has to be too !

Vindictive ?   Remember when you called the cops about that loud party you weren’t invited to ?     Or – Quick, return that spark plug puller I borrowed from Larry last year to fix the lawn mower, before he reports me to a GWI.               (Sorry about lawn mower – mine is gathering dust too.)

OR are those on the other side of the fence, green/brown with envy ?    Of course their grass is greener and their pool is full and their kids all have doctorates, and the their blankety-blank dog won Best of Show last year; they have it all and I want you to stop it !

Malicious I’m telling you, it looks green to me !

Hurtful I don’t care that he died out on that front lawn, she shouldn’t be allowed to wash away that blood stain !

Bitter ?   Look, I understand the house is still smoldering, but city water revived that lawn !

Keeping up with the Joneses may have taken a low blow.

God – this is Kate – please send rain before we all turn into ZOMBIES !

Yours ’til, Kate

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