Your grass better not be greener than mine is or I’ll…
Turn you in.
Drop a dime on you.
Call the cops.
Yep – if your grass is greener than mine, you’re toast, sister!
OK – we’re officially in a drought: the worst drought in the area in over 25 years. The hottest June in 100 years!
The mayor of my city, and a lot of other mayors in a lot of other Heartland cities, have declared that watering your grass, is now punishable by fines from $100 to $2500, depending on how many times you’re ticketed.
You allowed to use a watering can or hand-held hose with a shutoff nozzle, on trees under five years old and on your vegetable and flower gardens, but sprinkling, watering, or irrigating grass, is a no-no for homeowners.
I wholeheartedly agree ~ but my right/left collective brain thinks; What if the bank owns the house?
They’re even promoting a phone number for turning in your green-grassed neighbors.
Then they warn you not to call 911 ~ watering your grass is not an emergency; however, they will respond to your call and send out an inspector.
Oh no, a GWI /Grass-Watering Inspector ???? Who is getting that new job ? A new task added to an old job ? With more money ? Or, no – just more tasks added to an already over burdened city worker’s job? Ugh.
Whoa Nellie – neighbors are ratting each other out faster than corn or green grass goes through a goose, (sorry – for corn & green), like there’s no tomorrow ~ a tomorrow without rain, and none seen in the near future, either.
So, are the neighbor’s jealous ? If my grass is brown and crunchy, their grass has to be too !
Vindictive ? Remember when you called the cops about that loud party you weren’t invited to ? Or – Quick, return that spark plug puller I borrowed from Larry last year to fix the lawn mower, before he reports me to a GWI. (Sorry about lawn mower – mine is gathering dust too.)
OR are those on the other side of the fence, green/brown with envy ? Of course their grass is greener and their pool is full and their kids all have doctorates, and the their blankety-blank dog won Best of Show last year; they have it all and I want you to stop it !
Malicious ? I’m telling you, it looks green to me !
Hurtful ? I don’t care that he died out on that front lawn, she shouldn’t be allowed to wash away that blood stain !
Bitter ? Look, I understand the house is still smoldering, but city water revived that lawn !
Keeping up with the Joneses may have taken a low blow.
God – this is Kate – please send rain before we all turn into ZOMBIES !
Yours ’til, Kate