Let’s begin with – I’m not a car person.  I drive for work, groceries, medical and legal appointments, maybe home improvement, definitely underwear, but not much else.  

Nevertheless,  I have to say something about those BOXY CARS; they belong, well, back in their boxes – shoe-boxes!  

I happen to be  behind one the other day and it looked like a baled scrap metal cube that somehow had grown tires in all the right places. 

Or, an old post office  vehicle revamped, refurbished, repainted, and revitalized.

It was so ugly – it had to licensed to be on the road. 

I have memories  of only one car in my family and I don’t know if it’s a true memory or a false one, made up of the images of Happy Days in the 1950’s.

The car I see  is a big, black, 4-door sedan with lots of chrome, REAL chrome, on the front grille work and the rear bumper.  It’s not a sleek car but a big, fat, cushiony-looking car, with a big hood, and big, slopping rear fenders, and REAL, very wide, white sidewalls.   

It also had, “suicide doors.”   A not so-complementary term, indicating that the rear door hinge is toward the rear – toward the trunk, so that when the doors are closed, the handles meet in the center of the car.  The “suicide” aspect being, that the wind would catch the rear door, forcing it off its hinge and someone would fly out of the car – no seats belts in the ‘50’s.

As a youngster,  on long trips, I remember being allowed to take a leak on the side of the road between those doors – never having to make that trip into the woods. 

Maybe it was  an Olds or a Buick. 

As for these “boxy” cars,  IMO – they look like pizza delivery vehicles or mini-mini-vans. 

Now, instead of sidewalk hawkers  whipping open their coats, or setting up tables to display their wares, they can park their box, and whip open the rear door to display trinkets, small appliances, maybe hand tools – you know, everything hanging from a 3-piece folding peg board.  Makes it easy to get away, too.

Perfect – right?

(If you want to see these  transport boxes, just go each car site – kia.com; gm.com; nissanusa.com;  honda.com; chrysler.com; I’d put the links in here but it would take forever.)