JoePa eff’ed up! But we won’t !

Featured

Posted by in Not humor

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

, ,

Exterior view of Old Main on the University Pa...

Image via Wikipedia

Sunday ~ January 22 ~ My sincere sympathy to the family.

Joe’s sincere contrite apology that he should have done more, is more than enough for me and should be his legacy ~ do more in life, on the field, in school, for your family – Do More !

http://www.centredaily.com/

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, a preface please: for a while back in the 70’s, the ex and I attended and worked at Penn State, and lived in State College.  I’m also a New Yorker from the Bronx and Joe is from Brooklyn.

It pains me to say, Joe should have done more, and now, he should be saying so.

He should be saying that he is SORRY he didn’t do more.

He should be using his failure to act, his lack of follow-up, as a lesson to teach the PSU community and the rest of the world, that it truly does take each member of the village to raise a child.

No matter how uninvolved we want to be, sometimes we must go one-step further.

You can draw your own line on how far you’ll commit to being a member of the global village.

Maybe you won’t call the pound to report the stray dog.  But you’ll
call about seeing the dog attack someone.

Should you have made the first call?

I’m so very sorry for all the victims and their families.

I’m so very disappointed in Joe.

Kate

Old Car / New Car

21 Saturday Jan 2012

Posted by in Humor, Seniors/Baby Boomers

≈ Leave a Comment

Tags

, ,

A 9th generation gray Toyota Corolla S (model ...

Image via Wikipedia

OK – I bought a new car ~ new to me ~ to replace my old, dark green, 1998, 4 door sedan, with 150K miles on it, and rust in all the usual places.

My new car is a 2007, dark gray, 4 door, “sport” something or other, with 60K miles on it: one owner who turned in at the end of a 4-year lease, to lease another car.

After test driving The Gray, for an hour or more, stopping at K-Mart, Wal-Mart, the Wonder Bread Outlet Store, 2 car dealerships, and 2 tire stores, and listening to all the men, who, after they spotted the dealer For Sale signs in the windows, and me with the hood up looking at everything, came over to help and inspect it, (this is a ploy, it may be sexist, but IT WORKS !), I heard nothing but praise, so I bought it.  You know, borrowing money for the length of the loan and I do have someone who’ll buy the ’98.

I picked up The Gray, on Tuesday, after it had been detailed up the wazoo, so much so, that the engine looked lickable and the headlamps shone like Liberace’s candelabra’s.

Then I played with all the bells and whistles or as many as I could locate.

Both cars have sunroofs: The Green’s sunroof is a little bigger, while The Gray’s moves faster.  

The Gray has a fuel door release next to the driver’s seat, which, thank goodness, the dealer had pointed out.

The Green’s fuel door opens eventually after you jerk it two or three times, and the cap is now attached with some old wire-thingy.

What arm I moved down on The Green, I now must move up on The Gray, and vice-versa.

What I had to turn on, on the The Green, turns on automatically in The Gray, and vice-versa again.

Just what I don’t want – another learning curve in my life.

I was glad to rest on Wednesday, as we had a little snow and on Thursday we had an icy rain.

Friday we got both; ice turning to snow, on top of snow and ice, and I didn’t drive either car.  I didn’t have to, since I had heard the weather forecast earlier in the week and really did shop during the test drive.

Today, I forced myself to drive The Green to make sure nothing dies, and to drive The Gray, to see how it drives in this crappy winter weather.

The Gray started right up and the all the doors and windows were slick to open and close and locked tight.

The Green started right up too, ‘cause I just replaced the battery last month: it had died on a hill facing extreme, almost perpendicular, south.  The mechanics I called, arrived in a flat-bed truck, and after a consultation by committee, decided they couldn’t test anything, since the car was so vertically challenged, and towed it to their shop.  The bill for the tow, the testing, and only a new battery was about $300.

Today, in 20 degree weather, frozen under ice and snow, The Green’s driver’s door didn’t lock until the car had heated up pretty good ~ at least $20 worth of heat.   I forgot to ask about this persistent, seasonal problem last month.

The Gray’s heaters & vents worked very well and very fast.

The Green’s heaters & vents worked at about the same rate of speed it took for the driver’s door to lock securely.

Both cars drove well on the icy/snowy/slushy streets we have today.

The Gray’s, not original, but good all-weather tires, had good traction, stopping, and starting on the flats and on the hills.

The Green’s, BRAND-NEW-IN-MAY, $800 all-weather tires, along with rotors, tie-rods, pads, brakes, shoes, CV somethings, and whatever else $1100 got me in October, had good traction, stopping, and starting on the flats and on the hills, too.

Oh yeah, The Gray was $12K total and The Green‘s bills are still coming in, too !

Yours ’til, Kate

F-New ~ New Year’s Eve !

30 Friday Dec 2011

Posted by in Humor

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

,

Grape-Shot: 1915 English magazine illustration...

Image via Wikipedia

F-New ~ New Year’s Eve !

I’m sorry, not really, but maybe that’ll get me pass the censors.

(Addendum ~ my New Year’s is complete ~ TVLand is showing Murder ~ She Wrote all day long, today, Mon / Jan 2 !)

I hate New Year’s Eve.

I remember having a few good NYEve’s ~ Times Square w/friends and friends-of-friends.  Some friends-of-friends were foreign visitors, so we all worked very hard to show them a good time.  It was fun but very exhausting.

There were a few NYEve’s with friends, family, and in-laws that were fun too, but for the most part, it’s been me, a few others, a pet or two, and a bottle of bubbly.

I get out the Waterford, toasts are given and we have a drink or two.  Before everyone leaves, I can feel the melancholia seeping into my psyche.

I’m not sure if it’s the anticipation, not like the anticipation of a hot date or good sex, more like the anxiety of a pass/fail academic entrance exam or that desperately needed job interview, it just may be the expectation that things will change, naturally for the better, yet knowing that almost nothing extraordinary happens in the hours between midnight and 7am, is in itself so disillusioning, that sleeping through NYDay, is about the best I can do.

As for resolutions, some I keep, some I don’t.  So far, whatever unrealistic, overblown, hedonistic, self-indulgent, even gratuitous resolutions I’ve made, they haven’t had a snowball’s chance in hell of causing any monumental ramifications. This year, I’m resolving not to slap people who use that most annoying utterance  ~ Kardash@%@#^&#& !

January 2nd, is a day I like.  The Holiday season is over, (unless you’re in a country that celebrates the Epiphany), and it’s back to business as usual: the business of taking care of business; finding the resolve you need to live 24/7 for as long as you live.

Which is also very exhausting!

Yours ‘till, Kate

The Mouse Almost Won !

10 Saturday Dec 2011

Posted by in Humor

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, ,

Around the middle of October, after a sudden drop to freezing temperatures, Patsy spotted mouse droppings in her basement.

Apparently, a mischief of  Mus musculus had moved in and made themselves very comfortable.  But at a heck of an expense!

Patsy immediately went on mouse patrol to eradicate those mischief-makers, running down to the hardware store for a two-pack of those old tried and true, wooden platform, spring-loaded type traps.

Patsy’s primary choice of mouse bait was to share whatever was in her fridge.  The same plain and simple spreadable cream cheese she snacks on will do.

Once those first two traps were down, Patsy checked the outside of her house.  Then she did the same with every nook & cranny she came across while on her hands and knees, nose to the floor and butt in the air, crawling around the laundry room, furnace area, and pantry.

Wherever a crack appeared, never a cartoon-like mouse-hole, inside or outside, she chalked, foamed, or used fast drying cement.  Most of the time, she used all three, hoping to entomb the little buggers.

Speaking of the pantry, while she was baiting, taking precautionary measures, and disposing, Patsy decided to reorganize and redecorate.  She bought containers, (and color-coded labels), for her edibles, which she kinda’ matched to the size of the packaging ~ a cereal box size, a macaroni sized box, sugar, flour, and coffee comparable sized jars and tins.

Then shelving; both wire and wood, which sits off the floor.  Cork shelf liner, from Amazon, baskets, risers, under shelf shelves, and more and more and more!   This was the primary expense in money, labor, and time!   Continue reading »

Stuffing or Dressing? Gravy or Sauce?

26 Saturday Nov 2011

Posted by in Humor

≈ Leave a Comment

Pass the gravy?   Have some dressing?

At my table, we say, pass the gravy at Thanksgiving and for a spaghetti dinner.

We also say – pass the dressing.  Stuffing is something other folks say.

I don’t know whether it’s cultural, ethic, genetic, regional, block-by-block, town-by-town, or city-by-city.

You can look up the etymology of a word, but your family/nature/nurture almost certainly dictates what you really call it.

At my table, turkey gravy begins with the guts found packed inside the turkey, mixed with flour, heated right in the turkey pan, and only used for turkey.

Nowadays, I just throw those innards away and pour jar of off-the-shelf turkey gravy into the drippings while they’re still in the pan.  Heating it up, (over a gas stove), scrapings and fat and all, it’s always perfect & never lumpy.

Brown gravy was to make something look and taste beefy, whether or not it had beef it in ~ poured over broad egg noodles, (maybe as a leftover with hamburger bits?  Remember having leftover hamburgers?) or spooned into the depression in the mashed potatoes.  Brown gravy comes in jars or packets, unless you really cook a beef roast.   And there is a difference in the real and the faux when it comes to brown gravy.

Tomato sauce may be for spaghetti, but back in the day, on my ol’ block in da’ Bronx, the red stuff was gravy.   So, you said: how long you been cookin’ the  gravy?  how much gravy you want?  just put some gravy on a plate and I’ll use a slice of Wonder to sop it up.

Wonder was the only bread we knew and is still the best soft, white bread ever ~ one of the first comfort foods!  Although, now I buy Wonder Wheat – it’s MUCH better toasted.

As for stuffing, an uncle by marriage, inadvertently clarified it for me.  After killing that big, bull elk, he told everyone that it was 400 pounds dressed .  So, “dressed” meant, after the stuffin’s have been taken out; therefore stuffing means, the stuff you’re stuffed with.

So, to me and mine, stuffing is what you find in your teddy bear.

Dressing has always been bags of Pepperidge Farm stuffing, (‘cause it says so on the bag), with Bell’s Seasoning added.  That little yellow, old-fashioned box is the aroma of my Thanksgiving.  http://www.pepperidgefarm.com/holiday/holidaycategory.aspx?catID=926&pd=yes

http://www.bellsseasonings.com/BellsSeasoning.html

And between sauce and gravy ~ Gravy is red, brown or white, while sauce is always a question:  “What color is the sauce, please, so I know what kind of gravy to expect”!

Yours, ‘til, Kate

You’ll Love this Holiday Update Letter ~ or not ?

18 Friday Nov 2011

Posted by in Humor

≈ Leave a Comment

Tags

, ,

Hi readers ~ Here’s my annual “Christmas Letter.” A spoof that began in 2008. You can begin here, at the top, with the latest letter, or start at the bottom with 2008. Enjoy and Happy Holidays, Kate

Happy Hollidays ~ 2011

To Dan, Daffy, Kenny, LMS, little-er Mary Sunshine, and all my family, friends, and former neighbors ~

In case you’ve been wondering why you haven’t seen or heard from me in the past few weeks ~ I split ! I’ve run away from Dan, Daffy, Kenny, LMS, and that little-er Mary sunshine, (my Aunt Fanny!)

Dan was changing jobs faster than I was changing diapers on that spoiled brat ~ Little Little Mary Sunshine, for god’s sake; Dan, Daffy, Little Mary Sunshine didn’t lift a finger to help.

Since Daffy joined some cult/commune out west, I hardly ever hear from her – which I take as a blessing. Kenny’s been gone for months and all we’ve gotten are a few postcards from places farther and farther away. Dan was always coming and going from the latest three-week-job or half-hour interview the Fed’s finagled for him, while LMS and her latest boyfriend are rattling the metal walls of that RV.

And the walls were paper-thin! One day, while cleaning up around the outside of that place, I noticed scratches on it – patches of five vertical lines along the back aluminum siding. That’s when I met Randolph–the Wildlife Conservation Officer!

Randolph came by often to check on us, especially in the spring and spring in the woods is just beautiful, except for the bears. So this past spring, when Randolph stopped by, I pointed out the scratches, and he said, “Yes – bear claw’s did that, probably looking for food, smelled some of your good cooking. I often pass by just for a whiff or two. Just keep the plywood on the windows and you’ll be fine.”

That’s when I realized I was living in a bear’s tin pantry! That was the last claw – straw! I’ve supported these ingrates for three years now, and all I’ve heard was where’s this, what’s that, is that done, but I gave it to you, I left it there, I can’t do that, I’m too tired to do this, and isn’t it ready yet! Enough !

I just couldn’t stand it any longer, so I’ve run away with the Game Warden!

Randy and I, say Goodbye !

Happy Holliday’s ~ 2010

Hi, everyone ~ Greetings again from our house to yours – well, maybe your house, ours is still that ^@^&**&(*%$# RV up at the lake. I’m not complaining, it’s a roof, albeit a leaking, rusty metal one, over our heads

JSUno, my arm healed perfectly without surgery. So well, in fact, that as soon as most of the ice melts, I’ve decided to fix a little leak on that ^@^&**&(*%$# RV roof.

Luckily, we were allowed to go back to that RV. The Fed’s don’t think anyone from Diggawhole actually believes Dan divulged what the VPOR’s deny was “their little nest egg” on purpose; they just think he’s stupid. Which, at times, I have to agree, Dan is.

The Home Econ degree idea didn’t work out; I just couldn’t find courses in home economics. Since there were lots of courses in human, consumer, and family sciences, they advised me to try them out. But when I got to my first class, there were almost as many men students as women students – whoever heard of men taking home econ; men staying at home w/the children – never happen. One class, “Managing the Household Budget,” included coursework on financing, mortgage rates, and APR’s but not a coupon book in sight.

Kenny, LMS, and Little-Little Mary Sunshine, are holding it together by a thread. Actually by many threads – attached to my bed linens! Understandably, being the car-wash-vacuumer isn’t the best job in the world, so when the manager added insult to injury and asked Kenny to start emptying car litterbags – Kenny quit. He said he just couldn’t take this sh*t any longer and he left us ~ left his wife Mary and Little Mary, his daughter with us.

Since the day that ankle monitor came off, whatever the hell Daffy is doing – God only knows. I hardly ever see the little b*tch. She never even looked for a job, she’s always out with her friends, and when she does come home, it’s just to look for pocket change under the couch cushions.

Love to all from all of us.

Happy Holidays ~ 2009

Hi ~ please excuse me for not hand writing a new Christmas letter this year; but I fell and broke my arm a few weeks ago and cast impedes the calligraphy strokes.

I was just changing the porch light – can you believe it? With all the Christmas lights on the house, it took me a while to realize the porch light had died. Even though we’re a little short of money this year, we put up the lights anyway. We have them on a timer, so I only had time to find and change that porch bulb as the Christmas lights went on and off, and down I went – thunk!

During the summer, there was a big scandal at Diggawhole’s, and Dan was put into the new position of VP of Operation Recovery. He got a big raise and is really enjoying himself. He’s getting help from all the VPOR Assistant’s, as most of the time, he just has to sign the reports that come across his desk.

The caretaker’s RV didn’t work out. We’ve moved – see envelope for new return address. Can only talk about it in person – after scanning for bugs.

Well, LMS delivered 20 babies – we’re hoping for a reality TV show. N0 – just kidding. Mary had a beautiful little girl. She has pitch-black hair and the deepest brown eyes I’ve ever seen. They make a striking group, with Mary and Kenny so pale and blonde. LMS said she’s the spitting image of a long-lost Uncle on her father’s side.

Daffy didn’t get such a nice judge for her second offence. We won’t know if the accounting course credits she got in Juvi, are transferable until spring. She can hardly wait to graduate, as she’s planning to join her dad at Diggawhole’s. He can probably pull a few strings.

Aunt Dee remarried. We couldn’t go, but heard Dee and Bill’s evening wedding, in Aunt Dee’s backyard was just beautiful. They got a real break in the cost of lighting the tent, the trees, the fences, even using the electric poles for lighting up a parking area, since the groom works for the electric company.

I’m taking it easy, resting my arm, waiting for it to heal adequately to schedule the surgery.

Love to all from all of us.

Happy Holidays ~ 2008

Hi, everyone ~ Just to stay in touch and bring you up-to-date with what’s been happening at our house.

Well, after almost ten years with the mortgage company, Dan was unexpectedly demoted, and in a very, and I do mean very, generous plea agreement, Dan has agreed to perform janitorial services for the next five to ten years in situ.

Everyone agrees it’s the best outcome – after all, maintenance staff is always revered in any company. Since all the liens and suits are settled, we’re really thrilled Dan has this opportunity for restitution and the Fed’s have promised that after this penalty phase, we’ll have plenty to live on.

In the meantime, the Ex-Clu County Club Board of Trustees is graciously allowing us to rent the caretaker’s RV up at Lake Comengetit. This time of year its peaceful, and they’ve assured us that as long as we keep the plywood on the doors and windows, the bears, coyotes, and other wildlife are really quite friendly.

Unfortunately, Kenneth wasn’t doing as well as we hoped in his first year at U of Z, so he’s back home now going to the vo-tech. Kenny’s even been able to fit in a job as a “vacuumer” at the all-night car wash. Being home makes it easier for him to spend more time with Little Mary Sunshine, his pregnant girlfriend. Although, I find, that during this winter solstice season, their political and cultural differences are beginning to surface along with a teeny-weeny bit of tension.

On a good note, Daphne is again repeating her junior year at DeBunk High, but this time she’s carrying a lighter load, which includes jewelry assembly. I’m sure she’ll breeze through – she just loves that bling! And more good news – Daffy’s ankle monitor comes off in the spring, and her license should be reinstated just in time for summer vacation, so she can get back to spending quality time with her old friends.

Sadly, Uncle Bud, (from the Light side of the family), passed away this year. His drinking got the best of him when he decided to install his Dish TV himself directly to the electric pole behind his house. Service was out for a few hours but the electric company finally relented to permitting Aunt Dee to make monthly payments.

As for me, I’ve had to cut back on my mani’s & pedi’s - but to fill that gap, I’ve decided to go back and get that degree I started all those years ago in Home Economics. I actually think it’s karma – the maintenance staff always told Dan how they loved getting my individually wrapped Cheapskate’s Meat Loaf as New Year gifts, particularly since I attached the recipe card highlighting the economical advantages of using all those holiday leftovers.

Love to all from all of us.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.